


Expectations

by PrincipalCellist



Series: Behind an Office Door [2]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: After many requests for Yugi's POV I did the thing, Also in first person POV, Blow Jobs, Boss/Employee Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Some Fluff, Some angst, Still a wild ride, They're both so stupid I'm so sorry, This companion fic is new, We jump right into it so be prepared, Yugi has already fallen and he's waiting for Atem to catch up, Yugi's POV, companion fic to Opportunities, just to go along with the first fic, omg just make out already, soooo many blow jobs and not once do they think HEY MAYBE THIS GUY IS ACTUALLY IN LOVE WITH ME???
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2018-12-31 12:59:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12133014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincipalCellist/pseuds/PrincipalCellist
Summary: There must have been some kind of reason behind Atem's actions, but the truth of it remained elusive. Thousands of questions would go through Yugi's mind, but Atem never seemed to want to discuss it, so Yugi didn't force him to. But Yugi was in love and Atem was a frustrating, stunning mystery - one that he would solve.After many requests, I've decided to share Yugi's POV from the original story. He's probably more straight-forward in his thoughts and actions than you expect.





	1. Caught In A Daze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"Oh baby, look what you started;_   
>  _The temperature's rising in here._   
>  _Is this gonna happen?_   
>  _Been waiting and waiting_   
>  _For you to make a move,_   
>  _Before I make a move."_
> 
>   
> 
> 
> [Into You - Arianna Grande](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ekZEVeXwek)   
> 

Truth be told, I don't remember much about the day when Sennen first "helped" me.

I had been stressed; the offices above us were remodeling, and there was a meeting coming up fast. I remember retreating into my office and closing the door behind me before going to my desk, belt already undone, thinking I could relieve myself quick - but I couldn't. As time went on, I grew more and more frustrated despite the stroke of my hand against my length, knowing that I was running out of time, even going as far as to groan out loud when the noise upstairs roared louder. Suddenly there were hands holding my wrists, guiding my arms down and pinning them to my sides. I opened my eyes in shock, heart jumping to my throat, and there Sennen was in all of his glory, already kneeling on the floor in front of me. I was so embarrassed at getting caught jacking it in my office, I couldn't manage one word - whether in encouragement or refusal.

I remember the cool feel of the leather chair against my hands where Sennen held them down. I remember pressing my toes into the floor, trying to push away from him in shame, but he only scooted his face closer with a gaze so determined, I found myself wishing that I could somehow read his mind. He leaned forward and pressed his tongue against my erection as if he'd done it millions of times before, not just this once. I remember being unable to breathe, the sight of Sennen on his knees and mouth against my dick proving to be too much. My body lurched forward, hips lifting from the seat of my chair as I came. I had struggled to climax, and yet one stroke of his tongue brought me to the edge instantly. If I hadn't been in the middle of orgasm, that knowledge would have embarrassed me further.

And above all, I remember Sennen's eyes. How deep and intense the ruby had been when he finally looked up at me, covertly wiping off his mouth. They pierced into me, dark with arousal and wide with shock at his own daring. I couldn't look away from him.

I don't remember if I had made any noise when I came; everything had dissolved into a brilliant white-hot flash of pleasure. It had flickered, strobe-like, all over my body. On and on, leaving me as just an infrared outline of a person. Just heat, pulsing in waves, made of light. As I stared back at Sennen, captivated, all I could think was that I had never in my life come like that before. With such force. I never realized that an orgasm could feel so...incredible.

When I blinked back to reality, I was still slumped back in my chair, gazing at him with thousands of questions sitting heavy in my mouth. I don't know what he saw in my stare, but it must've unnerved him because his brows came together and he suddenly looked away from me. Before I got the chance to unleash any of my questions, blurt out the things that I perhaps should have said from the start, he licked his lips and got to his feet. Without a single word, he left my office, softly closing the door behind him.

I was twenty-four and Sennen had just jump-started a series of events that would change my life entirely. And while I didn’t know it yet, I would never turn back.

* * *

“Okay Yugi,” Jou began, eyeing me over his plate of fries the day after Sennen's intrusion. “What happened?”

I simply looked at him questioningly, burger in hand, mouth poised to bite. “What do you mean?”

The corner of his mouth quirked down. “Fine, don’t tell me – but I _know_ something happened.” He pointed at me, accusatory. “You’ve been uncharacteristically quiet. Either you finally got laid or someone died.”

I poked the bun of my burger, leaving a hole. The image of Sennen on his knees in front of me, my hands trapped under his grip, passed through my mind and I felt my cheeks burn.

“Oh, my God.” Jou said, incredulous. My shoulders hiked up to my ears as I tried to sink into the booth. “Oh, my _God!”_ He repeated, louder. “You got laid!”

“Not…exactly.”

“Who?”

“Who?” I repeated weakly.

“The person satisfying your sexual whims! Who is he?”

“He’s…look, I’m sorry but—”

“Sorry?” He blinked, still grinning. “Why for? I’m not. It’s about time, actually. Don’t get me wrong, I know you’re not exactly looking for love, but I was starting to lose hope that you’d meet someone.”

“But…”

“Just tell me who he is!” He grabbed my arm across the table. “I’m literally dying of curiosity here!”

“Figuratively.”

“For crying out - how did you even meet him? You’ve been at work all the time lately, so how—” He stopped, eyes growing enormous. “No.” He shook my arm. _“No!”_ I groaned as realization dawned on him. “A co-worker!” He shouted in barely-contained glee, taking my expression as one of confirmation. “It was someone in your department! _OH MY GOD.”_

“Well, yeah…” I didn’t see any point of denying it now.

“Is he hot?”

I thought about how Sennen's face had looked after he’d finished. It wasn't hard, since I'd replayed the whole scene in my head over and over again; his flushed cheeks and his dark gaze. What an amazing contrast it had been to see after so long of him always keeping as passive as possible.

"He's stunning, actually."

Jou’s voice dropped in volume. “How good did his mouth feel?”

“Ugh! Jou! Grow up!” I cried, taking a huge bite of my burger to distract myself. I knew that if I didn’t cut this discussion short, I’d have to admit the truth: that Sennen had made me come with just one fucking lick. Jou would never let me live _that_ down.

“Alright, alright.” He had the audacity to laugh at me. “But I still want to know who it is!”

“Get used to disappointment.” I replied.

"It was Atem, wasn't it?" He asked and I spluttered, choking on my food. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Jou!" I whined, voice rising in pitch as my cheeks burned hotter.

"Yugi, your secret crush isn't so secret."

"I do not have a—I'm not—!"

“Okay, okay. I'll leave you alone. But really—” Jou said, suddenly serious, “he’s being good to you, yeah?”

"Of course. He's the best." When it came to Sennen, I had to speak honestly. "He always does things without me having to ask. Like, his organization skills are so outrageous - I bet he could even make sense of your place. He doesn't even get angry when I mess up my desk right after he cleans it. And his fucking face is so stupidly perfect - he was chiseled to life by Michelangelo or something." It was almost unfair how beautiful Sennen was, actually. "But he's such a good person, Jou. Seriously. I thought he was friendly but maybe bored with his life - but now I'm just - after seeing that kind of expression he made—" The word vomit. I couldn't stop. "—I mean, I liked him before, of course - but now I'm just - I can't stop thinking about it. About him." I cleared my throat, fingers tightening hard enough for ketchup to run from the bottom of my burger. I couldn't put how I felt into exact words. It was frustrating.

"I just can't explain it." I finally muttered. "I just...I don't really understand it myself. I never had...we didn't really...I don't even know how we ended up..." I gave a rough sigh. "Mostly, I am confused. Hopeful, maybe - but weary."

"Well, some of life's best discoveries are made when you're confused." Jou winked. "Trust me on that."


	2. 100 MPH In The Wrong Direction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here I am, reminding you once more that I don't know anything about the legal profession. Pretend everything I wrote makes sense because I don't have a single clue, my friends ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"I was as pure as a river,_   
>  _But now I think I'm possessed._   
>  _You put a fever inside me_   
>  _And I've been cold since you left."_
> 
>   
> 
> 
> [Haunting - Halsey](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjyGkvNUtRU)

I liked to think that I was a decent person. Easy-going, nice, and self-aware. I had good friends and a good career, already more than what some others had in their entire lives. I was level-headed and mature about problems - if a barista ruined my latte on a day Rebecca wasn't there to make it, I didn't get upset. Things happen. I was also fairly content with my life; I knew where I was and where I was going. I knew what I wanted and worked hard toward my goals. I strived to be friendly, and though some would use that against me, I never let it get me down for too long. When things got tough, I tried to not sweat about it. But Sennen made me sweat. A lot.

When Monday morning came around, I was ready to put my weekend of agonizing behind me. I feared for my next interaction with Sennen after our - for lack of a better word - _incident_. I wasn't sure what to say, how to say it, or even if I needed to say anything at all. So saying I was bewildered to find him standing in my office, coffee in hand, and biding me a calm, neutral good morning was an understatement. He acted as if nothing had happened as he handed over the coffee before he left the room, leaving me standing there alone, struggling to get my brain to catch up.

Though he seemed to not want to discuss the event, went about the day like everything was same-old-same, I kept my eye on him. As time passed, I noticed some things in particular to make me think again about his seemingly cavalier attitude. His shoulders seemed more stooped and his voice wavered at the end of his questions, his gaze never completely met mine.

Like a flickering light bulb, I figured it out: Sennen was nervous. Him purposely looking away from me hurt, but knowing he was uncomfortable around me now was even worse. I stopped myself from asking questions he didn't want to answer. I kept my gaze steady, even when I wanted to shrink away. I didn't even speak of my feelings about the incident - I knew he didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to become the bad guy and force him to speak.

A week passed in that fashion. We played on out little metaphorical seesaw; he would push forward and I would fall back, molding myself around his cues. Then I would feel daring enough to push a bit and he'd suddenly retreat. And the whole time, he seemed apprehensive, like he was awaiting a death sentence from a vengeful God. But surely he knew that I wasn't mad? Not even in the slightest. I wasn't going to fire him, especially a week after the fact. (Of course, I knew firing him was the thing I was supposed to do, but I had no interest in reporting him. I had enjoyed it, after all.)

However, I couldn't say I didn't mind, because I did. I was upset, though the reasons were different than what they probably _should_ have been. I wanted to know why he acted as he did. I wanted to know if he'd just been riled up, or if it actually meant something. I wanted to know if he liked me. My own feelings for Sennen had already been significantly fonder than was was appropriate, but I couldn't stop them. Especially now that I had gotten a taste of what could be.

I wanted to talk to Sennen and tell him that I couldn't stop thinking of him. That I couldn't stop replaying the encounter in my head over and over again. I wanted to let him know that if he ever did ask or hinted that he wanted more of our relationship, I would gladly do so. I would do whatever he wanted and let him do what he wanted in return. I knew I would, and all he'd have to do is ask.

But I kept it to myself and never brought it up because he never brought it up. I picked up his cues, stopping every question that threatened to spill off of my tongue and swallowing my confusion like a hard shot of vodka that burned all the way down to my stomach. But I told myself that it was fine - sometimes the hardest things in life had the biggest rewards. Yes, it was a good thing that we acted like nothing happened; his job was safe and we were still friends. Any weirdness between us would only lead to trouble, so I would come to terms with my feelings and we wouldn't become anything more. That was the way it was supposed to be. No reason to complicate it.

So I stopped my thoughts from lingering on him for too long. I tore my eyes away when I caught myself watching him. I stopped my mouth from tripping over my words when I spoke to him. When his name came up, I didn't wince when my heart stuttered in my chest. I forgot about any and every possibility of he and I or anything resembling "us".

I was a liar, and not even a good one. But I could live with that if it meant Sennen relaxed around me.

Eventually, after a few more weeks, Sennen and I did regain some sense of normality that I had been beginning to think impossible. Maybe he didn't feel guilty anymore. Maybe he'd finally put it from his mind. Our conversations became open again, and his posture became confident once more. He smiled more often, but something new was hidden in it - something soft and genuine. He also seemed to think that I had forgotten.

 _But how could I ever forget?_ I thought, a little irritated as I stared at Sennen's through the doorway of my office, admiring the way his hands moved as he worked. His touch on me had been brief, but it was already seared into my memory. When I fell asleep, he was in my dreams, too. They weren't always sex dreams either, he was just there. Some kind of after-image that my dream self would reach out to grasp, only to have him disappear like a wisp of smoke. I told myself that it would pass, that things often got worse before it got better. Instead of dying out, I was afraid my feelings were only going to burn brighter and brighter until they collapsed and formed something I couldn't fix, like a black hole.

But I kept pretending that nothing was wrong. Because there wasn't. Everything was fine.

Until came the day when it wasn't.

"No, I'm telling you we can't sign any kind of paperwork until we get a confirmation on those numbers." I snapped at Kaiba on the phone as Sennen rushed back into my office. He must have seen the dazzling hope in my face, because he looked regretful as he shook his head. _God fucking dammit,_ I mouthed, knowing Sennen had seen me do it by the way his mouth twitched upward before he turned to dig in the drawers that held the files. He was probably looking for something that would rescue me, but I was beyond help now.

"Forget the numbers for a minute, will you?" Kaiba said, abrasive. "We can still finish this without them."

"No, you're not listening to me, we can't—"

"Do you have any free time today?"

"No...?"

"What is that supposed to mean? Yes or yes, Yugi?"

"Uh, yes?" _Since it's my only fucking option, apparently._

"Good. If they agree to move two of their men off this advertisement loser and onto the Ordinance Project instead, we could work it to our advantage. Hell, even one man would work, but we could use the extra hands to shut them down from the inside."

"I mean, that might be possible. Would they agree to it?"

"Do you think I'd be calling you to free up some time if they hadn't already?"

My eyebrows shot up toward my hairline. "What? _Now?!"_ I was going to kill Kaiba. I was going to cut him up, fry him, and make Jou eat the bits. "You can't be serious."

"I am always serious, Yugi." Was the bored reply. "Why is this a big shock? The only surprise to me is the fact that you haven't already settled this case and that I had to step in. I don't have the time to clean up your messes. Tell Sennen to gather your files, because you have fifteen minutes to get your butt downstairs."

I stood up abruptly, knocking my chair over. From the corner of my eye, I saw Sennen give a little jump at the sudden clatter. "Kaiba, tell me you did _not_." I was sure anyone else would have been terrified at having this conversation with Kaiba, but I knew he wasn't genuinely angry with me - and I knew he'd never fire me. "You son of a bitch." I couldn't help the grin overtaking my face. "I can't believe you got them to change their mind. I've been working on this for _months_ and I may actually hate you right now." Sennen snorted at that, and I agreed with him; Kaiba didn't care if anyone hated him.

"Shut up. You wouldn't still be here if you hated me." He scoffed. "Like I said, you have fifteen minutes. This is our last chance to make this work, so bring your A game. I'll start with or without you, but I prefer you to be there."

That was as close as Kaiba would ever get to saying "please," but I was fine with that. He didn't need to tell me how important this was, I was already signaling to Sennen , snapping my fingers to gain his attention once more. "Okay, okay. I can make it."

"Is your normal conference room acceptable?"

"Yes, our conference room is fine."

"Make sure you bring every file."

"Yes, okay."

"Why are you still talking to me? Hurry up."

"Yup. Thanks." I said with a little eye roll, setting the phone back down on its cradle. I pressed my fingers into my temple and dragged my hands down my face with little finesse. When all this was over, I needed to get away from Kaiba and have some quiet time.

"What happened?" Sennen wondered, the corners of his mouth pulled into an almost grimace. I could practically see his curiosity.

"Kaiba practices witchcraft, that's what." I said, trying to find the line between my annoyance and enthusiasm. "He got them to change their deal, so the figures aren't needed anymore. Not that we ever got them, anyway." I added ruefully as I grabbed my chair from the floor. "Unfortunately for me, he told them I could meet them downstairs in fifteen minutes."

"Today?" I could hear the shock in his voice.

"Yeah. The freaking nerve." I fell back into my chair, feeling a distinct satisfaction that we shared the same disbelief. "I mean, I get it: you're the boss. But _come on_." I shook my head. "But the sooner, the better. I am so tired of dealing with these..." There were a lot of things I wanted to call them, but my words seemed to fall short, _"men."_ I finally decided on, knowing Sennen would understand. I looked at him, hoping he could save me from hell because I really did not want to go and spend lord-knows how long in that conference room of fuckery. "How mad would Kaiba be if I just dropped them?"

"Honestly?" He seemed to think about it as he rifled through the files. "Yeah, pretty enraged. I would advise against that, if you can." I whined at him and dropped my head down against my desk, unsatisfied with his answer. I knew he could picture Kaiba's anger as well as I, since he was a mutual friend of ours.

 _Actually,_ I thought, a gentle warmth spreading up from my toes. _I should be thanking Kaiba for introducing us._

"Will you be ready in time?" Sennen asked as he set a folder down on my desk. "Here's their files."

"Oh, I should be fine as long as I have this." I said lifelessly, looking at the file as if staring at it hard enough could set it on fire. "I'm a winner." I said, not even bothering to try to sound more enthused as I let my eyes wander over and travel up the line of Atem's back. I wondered if the rest of his body was as warm as his fingers were.

"Well, at least try to keep the papers organized, Mutou." His voice snapped me out of that line of thought and I rose my eyes to his face in time to see him smirk. I wrinkled my nose and stuck my tongue out at him.

"I'm switching the first page and last page, just to annoy you." I said, grabbing at the file to make true on my threat. As I switched them, I tilted my head to the side to crack my neck, feeling the exhaustion setting in.

I glanced up after a moment to see Sennen standing there, staring at me. I could tell there was something on his mind with the way his smirk faded and his eyebrows were drawing together. But I didn't want to pry if he wasn't ready to say anything. Maybe he wanted to come to the meeting with me. I would love to have him there, it would've been a welcome distraction. It was probably wrong of me to use him as my personal safe-zone, but I would do what I needed to to get through the next hour or so without losing my cool - because I wasn't being facetious about dropping this case, I was honestly considering it. I was so sorely tempted to blow off the meeting. Kaiba's wrath would be a problem for Future Yugi.

Sennen took in a breath that hitched deep in his throat as he stared at the ceiling. He looked like he was struggling with some kind of internal argument, but before I could ask what it was, he was stepping around my desk and swiveling my chair to the side so we were face-to-face.

I blinked, disconcerted by his intent gaze. "Sennen, what—?" I began, but my question was soon answered when he took a knee in front of me. Suddenly, I was all-too aware of what he was planning. The look in his eye had the same determined focus as before. It was like an arrow hitting its mark, pinning me down with no effort.

"Oh, God. Are you _nuts?"_ I hissed, my heartbeat already taking off at just the thought of having his mouth against me again. Sennen's only reply was to start undoing my belt. "Okay, wow. Look, we can't—" I cut off with a heavy breath when his hands found my already hardening dick, pulling it free from my boxers. I licked my lips, hands coming up to rest against his shoulders in a half-hearted attempt to push him back as I inched back, heartbeat kicking in my throat so hard my mouth tasted metallic.

My fingers snagged in his shirt as I wrestled with my desire to let him do what ever he wanted and the small part of my more rational self that said I needed to stop him. The more I let him do this, the more it would hurt me in the end. It was a small voice, but it screamed. If I let this happen, I got a few moments of satisfaction, a time where I could pretend that Sennen and I were more than we were, but what would come afterward? More awkward conversations and unanswered questions.

I pushed against his shoulders with a little more effort. Sennen caught my hands and pinned them down against the arms of my chair. Using the momentum of his action, he leaned forward and stroked his tongue over my erection and I caught my breath, lost in the feeling of his mouth. It was better than my remembered. My memories never did it justice. It was so good and I wanted to yank him closer, capture him completely—

"Wait, wait - this isn't..." I shuddered as Sennen's mouth hovered over the head of my dick, my mouth falling lax even as my arms tensed up. He was obviously willing and I was just so, so weak.

"Relax," he said, his rough voice doing nothing to help relax me. He released my arm to grasp at the base of my erection, bending down to bury me into his mouth like I wanted him to do from the start.

Once I was in his mouth and he began to suck, I was lost. He gave oral like a fucking champion, making me twitch and gasp until I was sitting low in my chair, trying to stop my embarrassingly heavy breath. I stared up at the ceiling, trying to figure out around the pleasure how exactly he and I had come to this again. I could feel his gaze on me, but I couldn't bring myself to look down, even with as badly as I wanted to watch him suck my dick. I could imagine how good his mouth would look stretched around my length, but I was afraid actually seeing him in action would make me come too soon. And I wasn't sure if he even wanted me to see; wouldn't me staring make him feel awkward? If there was anything I'd been working hard to restore these past few weeks, it was Sennen's sense of comfort.

His actions seemed to become looser after that, as if he realized that I wasn't going to push him away. He indulged in lingering touches whenever he came up for air, his tongue swiped over my skin as if his only interest was that I enjoyed it, that he only left me with pleasure. In that moment, I allowed myself to pretend that was true; that this was a normal thing Sennen and I did simply because we couldn't keep away. That he wanted to do this to me and cared how it affect me, that he liked me. I could enjoy this moment and keep it close, even come a day when Sennen was gone.

He opened his mouth further, and I felt my dick slide in deeper and I gasped as his tongue rubbed against my frenulum, a particularly sensitive spot I had. I twitched hard, trying to remember how to breathe as my mouth dropped open. I caught myself before I could cry out, however - the door of my office was still slightly cracked open. It wasn't enough for anyone to see what was happening, but if I started moaning loudly...well, that would probably draw attention. Oddly enough, the thought of someone walking in and catching Sennen on his knees for me made me excited. I couldn't deny that I wanted others to know about it, to have a reason to say he and I were a thing instead of hiding it like a dirty secret. Maybe I could get Sennen to talk to me properly this time, and it wouldn't have to be.

The head of my dick brushed against the back of his throat, and my vision turned white. There was a soft moan, pressure constricting my erection, and I was gone. My hips lifted from the chair as I came in Sennen's mouth, slamming my hand over my mouth to stop any noises from escaping as he gripped my thighs.

After a few moments that felt almost like hours, I finished, barely noticing as he fixed my pants while my mind started running again. I rolled my head forward, feeling like my body was made of jelly, and my eyes immediately found his face. If I hadn't been so lightheaded from my orgasm, I would have laughed a his expression. He almost looked like a kid who'd just won the highest score on a game he'd sworn he wasn't good at. There was a starling mixture of shock and disbelief and excitement that made me want to reach over and squish his cheeks and kiss him.

Oh, God - I wanted to kiss him. His cheeks were red and his mouth was parted and glistening with spit and my cum, there was hair clinging to the sweat of his brow. He looked absolutely and positively wrecked and I had never seen anything so beautiful. I wanted to ground my mouth down onto his and find out what he tasted like, taste myself on him, and demand answers.

But before I could do any of that, he was getting to his feet, gaze settling somewhere past my shoulder, looking right through me.

“Should I call downstairs and ask them to make sure the room is free?” He asked, tone low and rough, and I frowned as I tried to remember what he was referring to. "Never mind," He muttered after catching my expression, his blush growing alarmingly dark now. He wiped his mouth off with a shaky hand. "I'll just leave you to it, then."

And then he was turning to leave. My body jolted, forcing me up out of my seat as it dawned on me that he about to go, an irrational fear taking hold of me at the thought of him leaving made me reach out to grab his arm even though he was too far away.

Panicked, I called out to him. "Sennen!" He stopped, hand hovering over the door handle. I saw his shoulders lift and fall with his inhale as he turned back to look at me, eyes weary. Though I had stopped him, I didn't know what to say. "We..." I began, then hesitated. _You just gave me the best blow job of my life._ “Why did you…?” _Why did you touch me and then leave? Why are you doing it again? Why won't you talk to me about it?_ I had too many questions I wanted to ask, and I couldn’t figure out how to properly word a single one of them without possibly scaring him off.

But I didn't need to finish. I could see it in the tilt of his lips and the crease forming between his eyebrows that he was planning on answering me. He was just thinking about it, so I waited, staring into his eyes.

"I...I thought you needed it." He finally said, but it almost felt like a question. "I thought it would help."

_What?_

There had been a lot of things I'd wondered about. A lot of things I'd guessed. But him doing it - going out of his way to lower himself so literally - just to help me had never even crossed my mind. I couldn't comprehend the logic behind his reasoning. At what point did he decide that a blow job was the most helpful thing to do? Both times he had gone down on me, he'd known what he was doing. He'd been aware of our situation and what could have possibly happened to him had I not been accepting of his "help." So why - _why?_ \- would he ever think that he should have done it? I tried to remember a time I had let my feelings for him known, or if I'd ever hinted at wanting him to blow me, but I came up empty. 

If anything, he was causing me more stress. Because everything he did was so damn _confusing._ What I thought would happen and what he ended up doing were two different things. And if he thought he was only doing what he needed to help me, did that also mean that he wasn't actually 100% okay with giving me oral? Did he just feel obligated to do it? Just because I was his _boss?_

Sennen must have been oblivious to my internal struggle, because he cast me one more look before leaving the room, shutting the door behind him. I fell back into my chair, mind racing as my eyes grew uncomfortably dry. Clearly, he had no interest in me outside of work. Had he been, he would have made a move by now. He just thought it was what I needed - like how he organized the files or cleaned my desk. He did things without me asking because he was so considerate about how I was doing. I couldn't blame him or be mad about it; it was just like him to watch others and mold himself to fit around what they required. It's just how he worked. And it was my fault for hoping that it meant something more, my fault that his kindness now felt like a fucking knife twisting in my chest. I leaned over my desk, trying to breathe evenly through the sudden blockage in my throat.

I was an absolute hopeless romantic at heart. I was the kind to cry over sappy movies and get excited when a couple had their first kiss in a novel. From the start, I knew that I didn't want a few stolen moments with Sennen in my office when we were alone. I wanted something with more depth. I wasn't suited for the casual sex/hook-up game. And because of this, I had two options: either get Sennen to change his mind about me or give up. Stop hanging onto my stupid crush and find a real relationship. Both choices were frightening for various reasons, though I cringed away from the latter. I felt more for Sennen than anyone else I'd fancied before and I wasn't too sure why that was, but I also knew that feelings like that would be hard to give up. I had to at least try first.

It shouldn't have been a surprise that I chose the first option, because of course I would go for the hardest route. That's just what I did.

I liked Sennen and there was no running from that fact. His touch had ignited something in me that made me feel more alive than I had before. When I thought of him, I quite literally ached over him. Maybe I should have denied it; tried to make my feelings diminish since there was such a slim chance that he'd ever return them, but I wanted to hold on to it a little longer. I wanted to remember how Sennen made me feel. I had fallen for him, and it wasn't "with him" by a default as if there were no one else available. I knew that, if I really tried, I could find someone I’d like enough to date – but I was stuck on Sennen because I chose to be. I would wake up everyday and chose to keep chasing him. Even when we bickered or annoyed each other or when things had gotten awkward, I chose Sennen . And I would choose him again and again, over and over.

I wasn’t religious, but I prayed that he would also chose me.


	3. Harder To Breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"Oh dear, it's been hardly a moment_   
>  _And you are already missed._   
>  _There is still a bit of your skin,_   
>  _That I've yet to have kissed."_
> 
>   
> 
> 
> [Oh, It's Love - Hellogoodbye](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lw8kC31ohs8)

I didn't know how I was flipping Sennen's switch. I really didn't. Whatever I was doing to elicit his advances, I wish I could figure it out. One moment I was sitting at my desk, nose-deep in a stack of papers, and the next he's walking into my office without warning, face set in resolve as he shut the door behind him, staring at me with no hesitation in his dark eyes.

"Will you turn your chair, Mutou?" He asked, tone gentle enough to ease though the words made my heart jump-start. The ease of which he said it felt so natural, I actually began to wonder if I heard him right - maybe he'd actually asked me about the weather?

Needless to say, I wasn't sure how to respond. My mouth opened and closed like a fish as my eyes moved from him to the door and back. I couldn't understand why he was so set to do this yet again and why I was so unable to say no even though I knew I should. Finally, after a long pause, I found my voice again.

"Sennen..." I tried to sound professional, but failed. If anything, I sounded exactly as unsure as I felt. 

He leaned over, hands bracing against the surface of the desk.  
"Will you?" He questioned, eyes searching mine.

And I would. Jeez, I knew I would every damn time - but there were so many reasons we shouldn't. I would always want more than Sennen was probably willing to give, so it was time for me to put my foot down and say what I should have been saying from the start.

"Look, we can't keep..." The swipe of his tongue along his bottom lip distracted me. I tracked the movement, all the thoughts of why we shouldn't suddenly melting into reasons of why we should. "...Someone might find us." I finished, gaze still hovering on his mouth, imagining it with my dick in between the lips, his tongue rubbing along the underside until he pushed closer, causing my length to touch the back of his throat and boy, wouldn't that be a wonderful sight for another employee to see? I had already had a few thoughts of what I'd do if we ever did get caught, and most of the time I found myself wanting it to happen. I wanted someone to see Sennen down on his knees for me. Wanted them to know that he did that for me and that I would gladly do it for him. Wanted everyone to know that I would stand by his side, even in times of hardship. That I wouldn't let him go.

"Hm." Sennen's face softened out a little, but then he was speaking before I could figure out why, "But all you have to do," he said, sounding like he was choosing his every word with the utmost care, "is turn your chair to the side."

There was something fierce in his gaze and all I could do was stare helplessly, already knowing that I was going to say yes. I would let him do whatever he wanted to me, throw in the towel and let him pull me along where ever he wanted to go. But the little romantic inside me was still crying out, reminding me that _no,_ I didn't want just a casual fling. It would be wrong of me to let him continue when I harbored these kind of feelings. One day his gentle touch would become painful for me to bear. The weight of my emotions were going to crush me like a collapsing bridge. The moments I stole away with him would go from sweet to sour and I knew that. I knew, and yet I couldn't say no.

Was it still considered a lie if I just pretended I didn't care?

Sennen must have grew tired of waiting, because he straightened up and came around the desk. He gripped my leg and hoisted it up over the arm of my chair as he lowered himself in the space between my legs, eyes never leaving my face.

"Okay?" He asked softly, halting his movements. "If you really don't want to, say so. I'll stop."

It almost sounded like a unspoken promise. Not just a _I'll stop because you said no,_ but a _I'll stop because I don't want to force you._ He was giving me the most graceful way out of the situation that he could, and had I not been so overrun by desire at the sight of him kneeling in front of me, I could have wept at how much it felt like he cared.

Some people thought my strength came from the mind, and they weren't entirely wrong. I was always bright for my age, always thinking about the things no one else seemed to wonder about. When the only subject I genuinely struggled with was English, it followed that people around me would think I had might of the brain. Those who knew me well often thought it was my optimism, and they weren't entirely wrong, either. I could find sunlight even in the darkest times and make even the most malcontent man smile. My disposition was indeed helpful, but it wasn't the source of my strength, either.

No one ever expected my strength to come from the heart, but eventually they all realized. And that was exactly why my heart would always be my weakness. I would be fooled over and over again in life, all because in my heart I believed.

So when I nodded my consent, it wasn't that I was just weak against Sennen; I was absolutely _powerless._ Because he owned my heart, and he didn't even realize it.

* * *

"Don't you think he's being a bit unfair to you?" Jou asked, nursing a bottle of beer at three-thirty in the afternoon because he knew how to properly enjoy life.

"I'm annoyed that you would even think that." I replied, more curt than I intended.

"So that would be a no, then." He said. I sighed, absentmindedly running my fingers over the rim of my glass. The weather was abnormally cool, so Jou had dragged me out of work early to sit underneath the canopy of his favorite local bar. I had almost forgotten the taste of run-down, greasy bar food and he was apparently set to rectify that. He had been surprised, but none-too shocked when I had told him the development between Sennen and I - or lack thereof.

"What makes you think that?" I asked Jou, sipping the soda from my straw.

"Well, the fact that you tell me so much about these eventful days at work. It's like you keep casually getting your heart broken, but you won't let yourself cry over it."

"I haven't said anything like that, though?"

"I've known you a long time, Yugi. I can read between the lines and get the full picture." He replied, eyes not leaving the TV. "But still, I wouldn't have thought that Atem was the kind to—"

"Don't." I snapped, gritting my teeth. I knew Jou wasn't saying things out of spite, just in concern, but I didn't want to hear him accuse Sennen of anything when it was my own fault I was in this mess. "He doesn't - I just - it's not like he knows how I..." I pushed my glass away, scowling. "I haven't said anything to him. I tell you whats going on, but I don't want to sit here and give you the nitty gritty. I'm not really complaining - he wants to help me, and I'm fine with that."

"No," He said slowly. "No, you haven't really complained per se...but you've gone delusional if you think you're _'fine'_ with the current set-up."

"I'm not really fine with it, I just...I'm accepting it. There's nothing wrong with enjoying a good thing, even if it's not quite what you want or expect. When it becomes too much, I'll end it. He's very adamant about having my consent; if I say no, I have no doubt that he'll stop."

"I love you, but what on earth is going on in your head?" Jou looked away from the TV, eyes searching mine. "What do you gain from this? A quick moment of you getting off and then...what? What is he doing to keep you so hooked? Figure that out, and maybe you can stop it."

"It's not anything he _does,_ really...I just like him for who he is."

"Okaaay, dig deeper, man. What specifically is it about him that attracts you?"

"...Uh. He's a good guy? He has depth?"

"So he's like any normal, good law-abiding citizen?" Jou snorted out a laugh. "Then why haven't you fallen this hard for anyone else before him?"

And wasn't that a good question.  
"Anyway! How is your life going, Jou?"

"Oh. Oh, okay. I see how it is." He nodded definitively, releasing me from his scrutiny. "I'll do you a solid and pretend that you genuinely want to know, not just trying to get out of the conversation."

"And I love you and I appreciate that." I said, dropping my head into my hands.

"Well, I'm doing fine myself. Things are going really well, actually. Mai and I have transitioned from pushing two beds together to sharing a single king-sized one. We just got it the other day, and it's made things so much easier. Sometimes the dip in the middle of the two beds there ruined it when things got good."

"Wow! I'm really happy for you!" And I was, but I didn't thank him for the mental image that accompanied his statement.


	4. Begging For A Thread

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"Darling heart, I loved you from the start_   
>  _But you’ll never know what a fool I’ve been._   
>  _Darling heart, I loved you from the start_   
>  _But that’s no excuse for the state I’m in.”_
> 
>   
> 
> 
> [Hardest of Hearts - Florence + The Machine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KLRd5G-zus)   
> 

If what we were doing was considered a game, then Sennen wasn’t playing fair. For a while, he’d come into my office before a meeting and get me off and that was it. There wasn’t much talking or any contact that could be considered as too intimate. Our game had rules, I learned them well - but then Sennen changed them.

I had fantasied about his hands against my body countless times before, I wouldn’t deny that. However, I never expected it to actually happen – less so that he would ever do it of his own volition. So, when the day came where his hands brushed under my shirt and his fingers curled around my hips to pull me forward, pressing my dick deeper into his mouth, it was just. _Something._ It was something. The visceral, full-body response I had to it left me gasping and shaking, face heated with embarrassment and excitement as I fell over the edge he’d brought me to.

When he pulled away, he acted as if nothing had changed and I didn’t know if I should bother to ask about it. So I didn’t. But the thing was that it wasn’t much of a surprise that it had happened. Sure, I hadn’t been expecting him to suddenly initiate any kind of intimacy beyond what we already did, but I supposed it was only a matter of time before he would grow bored of routine and try something new. Maybe he was nervous that I wouldn’t allow it, so he was reluctant to bring it up, but I wanted the touch more than anything and I trusted that Sennen would never hurt me. Not intentionally, anyway. At this point, I trusted him with my entire being. So much that my body sung with it sometimes.

Regardless, in the end I chose not to say anything at all. I let him leave my office without one question of it, feeling as if I would break some kind of unspoken rule if I did. Once that door fell shut, sealing me away from the rest of the world, I collapsed over my desk in a dramatic flair that would have impressed even Kaiba. Sennen had finally touched me and it still felt like there was an iron-hot imprint of his hand on my skin. It was somehow both more and not quite what I imagined. I had to blink away the sudden disappointment that burned my eyes because as much as I had enjoyed his touch, I was dying inside. I wanted to touch him, too. Plucking imaginary lint from his sleeve or fixing his already-straight tie wasn’t enough when what I really wanted to do was sweep his hair from his face, trace my thumbs over his cheekbones, and settle my lips over his.

Jou was right. I was – unsurprisingly – not okay with our current arrangement. Falling in love with Sennen was perhaps one of the worst things that I’ve ever done. It seemed as though every time I thought I could enjoy our time together and move on, he would step into my office and do things so absolutely incredible that I would have to sit for what felt like hours after, cheek pressed against wood as I caught my breath and reminded myself that I couldn’t ask for more. That Sennen didn’t have interest in dating me. But those moments when it was just he and I alone in my office…well, you could see how I could forget that fact.

He seemed set on keeping our current relationship as it was, and I wouldn’t argue with a good thing even if it was tearing my heart from my chest. I wouldn’t even pretend to be happy with it, either. I would not be foolish. I enjoyed what he offered, and I swore I would hold myself back from showing too much of my emotions. I didn’t want to scare him off. I had fallen for him before I could catch it, so it was up to me to make sure I didn’t lose myself completely. No matter how I felt, he would never know. I wasn’t going to push myself on him or make him uncomfortable in any way. I was already used to the burn of unrequited love, so what was a bit longer? What we were doing felt good, and it didn’t hurt to have moments with him, so it was fine. I could handle it no problem—

“Oh, God.”

Did I say I could handle it? Sorry, I meant that I would handle it until the day I forgot myself and spoke while he gave me a blow job. I immediately cringed at myself, wanting to hide from my mortification as Sennen pulled off of me with a noise so obscene, I’ll probably have dreams about for the next ten years. But then his lips were widening into a bright, confident grin like he’d just won a prize he’d never expected to get and I gasped as he resumed teasing my cock, the idea of him actually enjoying the sounds I made setting fire to my veins and—

 _“Ah,_ yes!”

Apparently moaning and talking out-loud once just opened the floodgates. But he didn’t appear to mind my lack of self-control because he slowed his movements once more until he was just hovering over the head of my dick, seeming to want me to make the next move, which was…unexpected. I felt my brows furrow in my frustration. I never thought of him as the teasing type, but here we were. Nervous and unsure, I lifted my hips just a little, anticipating his reaction. Sennen simply remained where he was, eyes glancing up at me before moving away just as quickly.

Oh.

Did he…

_Did he want me to fuck his mouth?_

The very idea of me thrusting into his mouth with no repercussions was enough to push me right to the edge. I bucked my hips against his mouth a little more forcefully, testing, and his fingers tightened around my hips, eyes falling shut. He looked so absolutely turned on and desperate that I just could not control myself anymore. I thrusted my erection into his mouth over and over, lost with the exhilaration of having him at my mercy for once and when I finally came, it was intense. My head fell back and I let out a long, broken moan as I orgasmed, ripped apart with pleasure and heat so sharp that I felt like I as floating away from my body with it. He held my hips down and all I wanted was for his grip to tighten enough to bruise.

From then on, things escalated. He willingly touched me often and I no longer tried to hold back my reactions now that I knew for sure that he gained satisfaction from hearing them. I would gasp and moan and sometimes even come up off my chair and let him hold me as close as possible as he sucked me off. I tried to keep the line I had previously drawn intact, but with every passing day it only eroded more. I wanted to return the favor, but that was one thing he never really showed an interest in and I was so, so scared to ask for it. Because if I went down on him, it wasn’t just a matter of him helping me anymore. I didn’t know what he wanted or what he was expecting me to do. I didn’t know how to act around him. He was doing this because he was my assistant, not because I was special to him or anything. I was a good friend, but nothing more.

I hated the acidic fear that flooded me when I thought about it. The anxious tingling that grasped my stomach and refused to let go. Being around him with this kind of longing was starting to hurt, but unrequited love always did, I supposed. Many times, I had to stop myself from touching him too intimately – like combing my fingers in his hair or leaning against him when we stood close. I would zone out at work, thinking about tracing a slow line from his jaw to his collarbone with my lips before I would abruptly come back to reality and realize that time has sped by.

I was stuck in a terrible love song. I felt bad when I was near him and worse when he was away.

* * *

“So basically, what you’re telling me is that Atem is making moves on you and you’re _still_ pretending you don’t care?” Jou made a long, loud noise from his throat. “Are you nuts?”

“That’s not exactly what he’s doing, but yes.”

“Hon, he’s willingly sucking your dick on the regular.” Mai said, eyeing me shrewdly. “That’s like the definition of making a move.”

“Look, I’m in a bind.”

“You created it.” She replied, unapologetic.

“You’re lamenting over shit that probably doesn’t even exist, Yugi.” Jou added. “If he’s trying to progress things like – I don’t know, maybe by _touching you??_ – he must have some kind of feelings for you other than you just being his boss. If he was really just doing his job, he wouldn’t be taking all these extra steps.”

“No, I’m sure his feelings are platonic.”

Mai snorted. “Nothing more platonic than sucking a friend’s dick,” she muttered.

“I—you—of course friends can do that…kind of stuff…”

“Okay, when are you going to drop to your knees and suck mine?”

 _“JOU!”_ I could feel the blush burning all the way to my chest.

“Oh no, baby.” Mai leaned over the table toward him, a wicked gleam in her eyes. “That job is reserved just for me.”

“Oh, my God. Please just stop talking.” I pressed my fingers to my head. “I get it.”

“You do realize you can just tell him how you feel, right?” Mai wondered. “There. Bind gone.”

“That may be the worst possible solution.”

“Or the best.”

“Look, Yugi – I love you, but you are so dumb.” Jou rolled his eyes.

“Pot, kettle.” I grunted.

“Dude, what you’re feeling for Atem…it’s just going to sit there and fester if you’re not upfront about it. And it will eventually come out in an ugly way if you don’t resolve it. Feelings only get messy when you don’t deal with them properly. Love is supposed to make you happy and you haven’t exactly been that recently.”

“Look, as much as I enjoy getting advice from the expert Love Gurus, there’s a roadblock,” I smacked my hands down against the table, “Sennen _doesn’t._ Love. Me.” I sighed. “Besides, he should be with someone he deserves. Someone who makes him happy.”

“Uh, Yugi?” Mai set her hand over mine gently. “I’ve seen you two together. He looks at you like you fart rainbows. You _do_ make him happy.”

“No, it’s not the same.”

“Why do you come over for advice if you’re not going to listen?” Jou asked.

“I am, I just…I don’t know. I don’t believe Sennen has romantic intentions. It’s not like that. Not for him.” I shook my head, frustrated. “I’m sorry I’m here bothering you two about it as well. I should be able to do this alone.”

“That’s the thing, though: you don’t have to.” Jou gazed at me seriously. “Things happen, man. They’re unavoidable and sometimes cracks feel more like canyons. Sometimes you can fix them, an sometimes you can’t. You don’t have to be some kind of glue to hold everything together all the time. We love you and we’ll do whatever we can to help.”

“It’s not a bother, Yugi.” Mai added. “We’re just frustrated because you’re hurting and we don’t like seeing a friend suffer, but in the end, you must do what you feel you need to.”

“I shouldn’t even be complaining, though.” I frowned. “I knew what I was getting into. I brought this all on myself.”

“That is true,” Mai replied, “but that doesn’t mean you deserve it.”

“But I can’t tell him.” I admitted, voice much smaller than I intended as my heart hiccuped in my chest. _“I can’t._ It’s just a recipe for disaster and I seriously don’t want to lose him. I would rather suffer in silence than tell him and he leave for good.”

“Your worst enemy is you.” Jou said, reaching down to scratch Mai’s fluffy cat behind the ears. “But I think Atem would appreciate knowing how you feel.”


	5. Busted and Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"Time together isn't ever quite enough;_   
>  _When you and I are alone,_   
>  _I've never felt so at home._   
>  _What will it take to make,_   
>  _Or break, this hint of love?"_
> 
>   
> 
> 
> [The Saltwater Room - Owl City](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw-LVKY0jHw)

I knew better than anyone that you spend a good portion of your life dreaming (even when you’re awake), so it shouldn’t have been a surprise to me that Sennen began to invade my subconscious.

He was there not so much in body, but in spirit. He spoke, but he had no voice. His words were just feelings and slight shifts in the air around me, and yet I understood this hazy dream version of him far clearer than I did in reality. Even outside of my dreams, it seemed all we had connecting us together were words. Letters strung together to create sentences, weaving out the story of us and filling me with hopeful fantasies – just like this one. I kept myself distracted from the pain that came with knowing this was only a dream by memorizing the smooth feel of my hand running down his arm, fingertips dancing over the curve of his elbow. I admired the slight build of muscle he had hidden just under the skin of his forearm until my fingers found his palm. I wrapped my hand around his and kept it there, trying to hold us together.

And just like that, Sennen had a voice.  
“What is it?”

“Just thinking.”

“What about?”

“You.”

“And where have you gotten with that?”

That gave me pause. How could I possibly answer? There were no words accurate enough to describe the wonderful, confusing feelings I had every time I was near him. How could I even begin to tell him how deeply engraved he was in me? It just stuck in my throat like a sticky glue, and I couldn’t force anything out. There’s never been a time when I didn’t know what to say - with Sennen, it wasn’t that I didn’t say, it was that I couldn’t. I had all the words I needed to tell him how I felt, even if they didn’t feel like enough, but the question was if he wanted to hear them. And something as strong as this…it demanded to be felt, demanded to be said. So many times, I could have told him, could have ended my suffering, but I didn’t want to lose what we had. Even with the pain, I wanted to hold onto the warm feeling and never let it go.

I gave a noncommittal jerk of my head.  
“I just don’t know what to do with you.”

“You don’t have to try so hard. I get it.”

“Do you?” I asked, not believing it for a second.

Sennen didn’t reply; he just smiled, and even in a dream he was too dazzling for me, like trying to stare directly at the sun. Nervous, I looked away from his unwavering gaze, licking my lips. He didn’t seem to like that, me looking at anything but him. He leaned over and crawled toward me, pushing me back with a hand against the center of my chest and I wondered if he could feel my heartbeat like that. He laid his body down on top of me, arms coming up to wrap around me just the way I liked it and I looped my arms around his neck, pulling him close with a sigh.

“I really like you, Yugi.”

The group of butterflies in my stomach exploded into movement so forcefully that it made my eyes wretch open. I breathed hard into the open air of my bedroom, alone and feeling feverish. Even in dreams, I craved things from Sennen that he could never give.

Groaning, I covered my face with my hands, sweat prickling at my brow as I tried to swallow around my tongue, which suddenly felt too thick for my mouth. Actually…had Sennen ever called me by my first name before? It seemed unlikely. He’d only ever been polite and professional about that, and so was I in turn. I ran through my memories, trying to find even one instance, but there wasn’t one. Even when we weren’t at work, I was only _Motou_ to him. I, however, was all too aware of his first name; I felt it wedged in my throat whenever we were together. I had no trouble saying it to myself or others, but to him…wouldn’t that be crossing a line? Not that he and I ever set out any rules for what we were doing, but still. It felt forbidden, somehow. If I did, would he mind?

I rolled over, shoving my face into my pillows. I was feeling so many things that I wasn’t sure if my body would ever be normal again. At work, Sennen made me strong, but outside of it I was weak. Really weak.

“Atem...” I breathed. Alone in my room at the dead of night, it sounded like a secret. That seemed fitting.

I thought about him at his house, in his own room. Did he think of me when he was alone, too? Did he imagine us together, separated only by clothes? Did he ever have the urge to do more than what we’ve already done? The very thought of that made my chest flutter. I drew my blanket up higher on my body, tucking my chin into my chest. I pictured Sennen here in my bed with me, like he had been in the dream. Except instead of on top of me (which was nice), I imagined him curling his body next to mine, his scent surrounding me. Or I could be the big spoon and bury my face into his hair.

Both options were good.

If he and I ever did make it to a bed one day…what would that be like? There would definitely be kissing. A lot of it. I would roll him over to straddle my lap, feel his breath against my mouth, let my hands settle on his hips to hold him in place. Slanted, dark ruby eyes would gaze down at me with that same blank focus he got when he was studying something. Imagining that stare made something inside me swell with heat, made me want to touch him all over. But, in my fantasy, Sennen did the touching; his hands found their way from my face, down my neck, over the curve of my chest until his fingers were at the edge of my waistband.

In reality, my hands followed the imaginary path Sennen had made, and I twitched sharply, erection in hand.

“I want to use my mouth,” Sennen said, because that was all I knew – all I could allow myself to picture without it feeling like a knife in my throat because it was something I’ve had before. That was the only thing I should ever expect from him. It was safe.

But, still…

What if I could do more?

I imagined Sennen panting and arching off the bed, mouth creating words – not just _Motou,_ but _Yugi_ too, mouth forming my name like a secret, the same way I had earlier. There were gasps of breath and desire as I felt myself come closer to my own relief. I wanted to hear Sennen's noises, listen to him call my name, make him clench the sheets, tension in every line of his body until he fell apart, shaking and coming and crying out for more - and suddenly it wasn’t just Sennen, I was coming too. I was so distracted by my fantasy that I barely remembered to keep my hand over the head of my dick, stopping my release from soaking my pajama bottoms as pleasure shuddered through me.

“Atem…” I muttered, feeling oddly empty at the knowledge that he wasn’t here. I wanted the space between us to fall away. The hours between now and tomorrow felt too long. I supposed this was just what happened when you were around someone so much; anytime apart felt like infinity and you start to have dumb thoughts of what if, even though it could never happen.

Eventually, I was able to summon enough energy to stumble out of bed and into the bathroom to clean up, but the thought of calling Sennen by his given name stuck with me all night.

* * *

“Sennen has a nice septum, don’t you think?” Mokuba asked suddenly one day, but the tone of his curiosity didn’t seem to fit his question. “I like how it slopes to his philtrum.”

“A – a nice what?” I stumbled, looking at him in confusion. The Kaiba brothers were not the kind to give out random compliments – not ones about physical appearance, at least. I wasn’t sure what a philtrum even was, or how a teenager knew the term, but it definitely sounded like something he would never usually point out or appreciate on a person.

“Philtrum.” He must have realized that I didn’t know what he meant. He sounded exhausted as he explained, “It’s the groove above the center of your upper lip.” He pointed to his own groove for my benefit and then gestured back through the open doorway of my office, where we could see Sennen sitting at his desk and stacking files, unaware that he was the sudden topic of conversation. Mokuba of course knew that hewas too far away to properly see the anatomy of his face – we both did – and it was hardly a feature I had ever sought out before now, but I still looked over anyway, watching as Sennen tapped a few papers together evenly and stapled them up in the corner, movements somehow seeming graceful in their preciseness.

“You’re different when you look at him.” Mokuba commented, and I ripped my focus off of Atem abruptly. “You get all…mushy.” He sounded inquisitive, like he just wanted to know why, but the mischievous undertone revealed that he already figured it out.

“No, I don’t.” I replied instantly, jaw tensing.

“Oh, God. Your denial is even worse.”

“You sound just like your brother.” I said, rueful, shoving some papers he’d brought to me into a folder a little too roughly.

“Good. Nii-sama is cool.”

“…am I really that obvious?” I asked, proud at how level my tone sounded even though my heart was jack-hammering a bruise against my ribs. “I’m trying not to be, you know.”

“Hm. You’re bad at it.” Mokuba replied. “How are you such a good lawyer when you’re so bad at lying?”

My eyes went back to Sennen, idly surprised to see that another worker was now standing next to him. They seemed to be chatting happily; the woman was smiling brightly, raising one hand to tuck her long hair back behind her ear as she bent over to look at something Sennen was pointing out on his papers. Something in her stance, something about how close she was standing to him, made my insides twist unpleasantly.

I knew I probably wasn’t _The One_ or anything like that to Sennen, and though the fact hurt, it was still weird to see that he would allow other people besides myself to be so close to him. In the back of my mind, I knew he could have others if he so wanted – we weren’t by any means exclusive. But knowing it and seeing it were two different things. I watched as the woman gave a flighty laugh, hand on Atem’s shoulder (not quite out-right flirting, but she was obviously interested.) The simple act of it was enough to crush my lungs with jealousy and make my throat burn with hurt.

It wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t content with our current relationship, but I thought it would be okay to have Sennen in small doses – take what I could and look back at the memories fondly. But snippets of his time were far too little. I wanted the woman to take her hand off of him and back away. I wanted to go over there and place myself between them somehow because no one could have him, not in the way I did.

But that was the thing, I _didn’t_ have Sennen. And me getting upset over something so trivial was pointless. I ripped my eyes off of the two, gaze falling back to Mokuba, who’d seen the whole thing and was now wearing a cheeky grin, though his eyes held concern.

“Not one word.” I warned, shoving the folder toward him. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Fair enough. It’s a good thing that Sennen is dense, I guess.” He shrugged, gathering the folder into his hands and standing. “I need to get back, but thanks for signing all these papers for me. Nii-sama will call you once the plans are finalized and the construction has a set start date. He’ll probably want to know more finalized plans of your team, too.”

“Sounds good.”

“Oh, I know you said not one word, but…” He gave me an almost devious grin, “Getting all upset and worrying about how Sennen would feel about you liking him…well, I wouldn’t think so hard about it. Just keep being yourself. You’ll see.”

“Are you…giving me relationship advice?” I was bewildered. “You’re like twelve.”

“That’s rude. You’d have to be in a relationship for me to give you relationship advice.”

* * *

I preferred the ocean when it was grey. The dark in-between color it became when the sun dipped low and the tides fell back; when the water was no longer blue, but not yet black either. Rather, I liked how it made me feel. It reminded me of waiting for something good to happen.

That was the same feeling I had as I sat behind my desk with just a bit over an hour left until my dinner with two men from the future planning team of the new offices Kaiba was planning to build. I thought maybe I was having the same feeling because the sky was so grey – through my window, I could see clouds rolling in and only allowing glimpses of the evening sunlight over the cityscape. Or maybe I had the same restless, excited feeling because I knew Sennen would soon be walking into my office before my “meeting.”

But even though I was expecting him to show, was looking forward to it, I was still surprised when he walked through the doorway – an hour still left before my scheduled leaving time. I was curious about his early arrival but also delighted when I realized that this meant we’d be alone together for longer than usual. An hour. A whole, entire _hour._ I turned my chair right away, not wanting to waste even a minute of the precious time he’d decided to gift me.

It began off much in the same way as usual, and yet…it was different. He was different. He seemed perfectly content just to run his hands and lips all over my thighs and stomach, barely reaching the place I wanted him to put his mouth on the most. His fingers trailed up my leg and dipped over the curve of the muscle of my thigh until he was gripping the underside, pulling me down in my seat just a little more, bringing my erection closer to his face. His nose brushed my lower stomach, and I squirmed at the sensation of him being so close that I could feel his breath, but not quite doing what I was hoping he’d do.

Something about his touch felt gentler than our other times - more like a lover’s caress than just a quick blow job to relieve stress. It was common for me to misinterpret his actions because of how I felt toward him, so usually I would have caught myself and corrected my thoughts, but this time I let my mind wander. I let myself pretend his actions were telling me something important, because I wanted them to.

I leaned back in my chair, allowing him to touch me where ever and how ever he wanted to. It must have been what he was waiting for, because only after I allowed him to have control did he finally drag his tongue up the length of my cock and I wanted to place my hands on his head, bury my fingers deep into his wild black hair. I wanted to grasp his face between my hands, brush my thumbs over his cheekbones, pull him up, whisper his name, and claim his mouth finally, _finally_ after all this time because I just couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. I was sure everything I felt was blazing on my face like a bright neon sign, flashing the words _I love you, I love you, I love—_

_“You’re different when you look at him. You get all…mushy.”_

No. The air rushed out of me like a punch to the gut. I threw my arm over my eyes, obscuring my face from his sight because there was an all-too familiar heat burning my cheeks and making my eyes water and _Good God,_ I was _not_ going to cry over a broken heart while the man who caused it was currently sucking my dick. There was no reason for this sudden rush of emotions because we were doing something we’d already done countless times before – I just had to push through my feelings and just focus on the pleasure. I had to stop myself from being so damn obvious about it, but it was just like Mokuba had said a few days before; I was bad at it. I was bad at lying because I didn’t want to.

I was so absorbed in my determination to keep myself level that I didn’t pay attention. There was sudden heat enveloping my erection, his tongue pressing against the underside as he pulled me deep into his mouth. It was so abrupt and wet and hot that I moaned out, falling forward. The pleasure from him swallowing me down was so immediate, so amazingly good, I tried to fight back my orgasm, tried to slow it down, delay it – _no, no, no, not yet, stop, stop_ – but I was absolutely helpless. The arm I had protected my face with was gone, hand now braced against Sennen's shoulder, fingers gripping into his shirt as if grounding myself against him could stop me from coming or stop him from forcing me to it.

“Fuck!” I cried out in a voice I never knew I could make. I couldn’t stop, I couldn’t wait - it was too powerful and his mouth felt too amazing and I was imploding like a dying star, legs tensing, lungs straining for air but when I opened my mouth it wasn’t to breath, it was to sob out, _“Atem!”_

I heard his moan as I came in his mouth, not even realizing that it had been my use of his name that caused it. And it was only when I had finished and he was pulling back off of me, staring up at me with amazed eyes, that I fully realized what I’d just done. It was strange how closely love and fear lived next to each other, how they both felt like lightning striking you. How easily my mind could turn against me the moment I was weak. I rolled my lips inward, pressing them together hard, feeling more embarrassed at the slip of my tongue than I was about him giving me oral. But I didn’t apologize for it. As awkward as it may have been, I didn’t regret the slip up. Sennen didn’t ask either, just took it in stride. But judging from his awed look and how loudly he’d moaned when I’d called his name, I got the distinct feeling that he genuinely didn’t mind. That he maybe even liked it. I didn’t want to put him on the spot or demand we use each other’s names, so I made a silent deal with myself: I could use his name, but not all the time, just in case. I would only call it out when we were alone and my mind was otherwise…indisposed.

But if using his given name was allowed… What else could I do? I found myself questioning his motives all over again, even though I had said consistently that I was fine with how things were, that I wouldn’t push him. But I wanted to know: why was he doing this for me? Did he really think he was just helping? Did he know how I felt? Did he think of me nearly half as much as I thought of him? Would he ever be open to the idea of doing more? Did he like me? Is that why he was so gentle with me? Did he realize how lingering his touch was? How many more times could I let him do this before I broke? Could he see my thoughts written all over my face? Could he ever come to love me too?

My mind just spun in circles; there were too many questions to ask. It was ridiculous how difficult questions could be when the answer meant so much, and that was why I kept it all to myself. I wasn’t afraid that he’d lie to my face to spare my feelings, I was afraid that he’d tell the truth. 

Love was the most painful thing I had ever experienced, the hardest thing I’d put my heart through. It was so terrible, and yet so wonderful. I had to keep believing that the time I spent with him and the memories we made was worth the pain, otherwise I would have nothing at all.

* * *

“So,” Anzu began conversationally, and I heard the click of a spoon against glass. “Something monumental must have happened for you to willingly skip work and call me instead.”

First Jou, then Mokuba, and now her.  
“Am I really that easy to read?”

“I think you already know the answer to that.”

“Then why doesn’t Sennen seem to understand the dilemma I’m going through?”

“Oh, you’ve come to me with boy troubles!” She seemed a little too happy at the prospect. “Did you guys have a fight?”

I dropped my head into my palm and groaned.  
“No. Not a fight. Just…I don’t know. I’m suffering and he’s being weird.”

“I don’t know what you mean by that.”

“It’s just that…things are the same, but there’s a difference. I feel like he’s hiding something? Unless that’s just my own guilty conscious making it seem that way. I’ll spare you details—”

“But I love the details!”

“—but it used to be just do it and then we were done, right? But now it’s like he’s hesitating. Well, more like lingering?” I rubbed my forehead, agitated. “I don’t know. I thought I had it figured out and that I knew the way things had to be but now I’m just so confused and full of questions and I’m too afraid to ask him and it’s _bothering me.”_

Anzu exhaled long and hard. “Honestly, Yugi? None of this is really unexpected.”

“What do you mean?”

“You are so dumb.”

_“Hey!”_

“Yugi, I love you. I do - but your skull is a mile thick!” I could just see her leaning forward, chin in her hand, blue eyes serious. “You’ve always gone and done what you wanted to do, when you wanted to do it. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but you allowed the situation with Sennen continue because you wanted it to – because you like him. I don’t blame you one bit, but have you ever tried to put yourself in his shoes?”

“Well, I’ve often wondered—”

“I’m not just talking about what you _think_ he’s thinking.” She interrupted, on a roll. “A kind, seemingly untouchable man allows you to get close and pleasure him but then never questions why. So you think, _‘well, okay,’_ because when would a chance like that ever come again? Then you have a wonderful time with the man over and over, but with as nice as it is, you begin to wonder... Is it just a routine? Is there more to gin from it? Will this guy just act like your boss forever, or will he try to make a move? Is it appropriate to initiate more, or is it better to wait?”

 _Thump, thump, thump._ My heart felt like it was taking a repeated beating with every word.

“I wasn't going to be pushy... I going to let Jou talk you through things and help since I’m all the way over here in America. But! I can’t stand aside anymore. It seems you need a third point of view.” She sighed, sounding more aggravated by the distance between us than she’d ever been before. “Sennen cares about you, Yugi. I saw it myself when you first started working with him, and after. It’s so obviously, stupidly clear. But he’s shouldering his feelings for you because of the possibility that it would not only ruin your friendship, but put your jobs at risk, too. He probably doesn’t think you are into him since you’ve yet to make a move back or even talk about what’s been going on between you. Does that sound familiar? Isn’t it just like another certain, dense guy we know? I can’t imagine it’s been an easy weight to bear, but you weren’t the only one feeling it.”

An old memory of Sennen and I went through my mind: the day after I had hung up with Kaiba about the sudden meeting he’d dropped on me. How Sennen had seen me worrying and took it upon himself to fix it. It was the first time he’d gone down on me after that One Lick incident that started it all. I remembered how dumbfounded yet excited he looked when I had came. How embarrassed he looked when I’d called after him.

“Oh.”

And then, the day I had willingly turned my chair for him. Sennen had approached me so carefully that day, giving me every chance to say no or talk to him. How he said he’d stop, but it was like a secret promise of something else. I remembered how relieved he seemed when I allowed it. How he had moaned. How he had looked so grateful and pleased once I had finished. How nervous he’d been before he left, like he had something heavier on his mind than just what we were doing.

_“Oh.”_

All the times between then and now. How Sennen had upped the ante every time, his hands slowly growing braver as he explored my body. How much I wanted to kiss him, but his lips lingering on my stomach and thighs had been kisses all along and I just never saw it. I remembered how bright he seemed after I had called his name, like I’d satisfied something in him with just the one word.

“Why didn’t I realize?”

When Sennen had told me he’d just done what he thought he should do to help me, I thought my heart had broken. When he seemed to remain interested in only the current arrangement we had, I decided then that my unrequited feelings was true heartbreak. Then he had touched me so gently and I had been so worried about him reading my emotions on my face that I hid behind my arm…surely it couldn’t get worse than that. But in reality, all of it was just practice, because now I could actually feel my heart shattering. I had over looked so much of Atem’s feeling because of the surety of my own opinions on the subject. How could I ever assume that he’d only do those things just because I was his boss and friend? He was a kind, beautiful man who would shoulder his own feelings and stubbornly carry his own troubles simply out of pride rather than burden anyone who actually meant something to him.

“He thinks he’s doing what’s best for me,” I choked out, stunned at the epiphany and my own stupidity, “because he loves me.”

I could hear Anzu’s smile in her voice.  
“I’d bet you that it’s something like that.”

“Anzu, I have to talk to him.”

“I mean, you should have done that after the first blow job – but, yes. I agree.”


	6. Bloom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"I'm on my knees, begging you please._   
>  _I gotta settle this thing once and for all._   
>  _You got my heart, my soul,_   
>  _You can have it all."_
> 
>   
> 
> 
> [Alone - Hollyn feat. TRU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Is3Mhsh-FA)   
> 

Unfortunately, the few days after my revelation didn’t allow me much of a chance to properly sit down and speak with Sennen. We both were in a constant state of work what with our current case and the impending office move. I was too busy with phone calls and paperwork and trips to and from Kaiba’s main office to invite Sennen out to lunch, or to mentally prepare what I needed to say. I was trying to work on it, but it was slow going.

Too slow. It seemed as if everyone knew about my feelings except the man in question.

“So,” Kaiba started off conversationally, and the tone made me instantly suspicious. I had enough foresight to pause in my typing and turn off the speaker on my phone before he continued with, “You and Sennen, huh.”

“Mokuba told you.” I said blandly. _That brat._

“No, you did. Just now.”

I wanted to scream, but I was able to keep it back.  
“No, I don’t know what you’re trying to insinuate—”

“Don’t play dumb. You know perfectly well what I’m suggesting.”

“Look Kaiba, I know it’s not exactly ideal but I promise we—”

“Oh, no. God, shut up.” He sounded disgusted and I pressed my lips together with a wince. “I’m not bringing it up to gossip about your love life or give you a lecture. Relax. I know that you’re a grown ass man and that you’re handling it.” I made a small noise, because _was I?_ I was trying to, but the whole situation felt like a big mess at this point – a big question mark blaring over top my head. “…you are handling it, _right?”_

“I’m…getting there.”

“I honestly don’t know how you can do your job so well when your personal life is in shambles.”

“I’m doing my best. I haven’t had a chance to talk to him yet, but I will.”

“I really am not interested in your love life.”

“You asked!”

“And I regret it. As long as it – whatever it is – doesn’t affect your work, I couldn’t care less who you sleep with.”

“We haven’t slept together.” I replied, typing up the last bit of my email.

“Right.”

“I’m being serious. We haven’t.”

“I know you’re being serious, and it’s really pathetic. You guys were practically eye-fucking each other the day I introduced you.”

I choked on my own spit.  
“Do you have a point to this call, or…?"

“Yes, I do. I have good news.”

I sighed, eyes skimming over my email as I readied to send it off, “And what is that, oh great Boss Man?”

“You previously asked me if Sennen could be an office manager—”

“And your answer was no, if I recall.”

“Yes, it was. Let me finish.”

I sent the email and leaned back in my chair.  
“Fine, sorry. I’m listening.”

“I’ve decided to be gracious. You clearly want Sennen to stay with you. He already does half of your work, I figured he might as well get paid for it.”

“Should I be worried? Am I getting fired?”

“And let you go to a competitor? Absolutely not.”

“Aw, I knew you loved me, but I’m going to have reject you. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, I’m kind of in love with Sennen.”

“Stop being a dweeb for five seconds.” I could practically hear the vein pulsing in his temple. “I’m trying to tell you that you can promote Sennen to be your partner.”

“Wait, what?” My eyes widened and I scooted forward in my chair, unable to believe my good luck. “Are you serious?”

“Have I ever joked about work?” He sighed. “Just try to keep the sexual tension out of the office.”

“Of course.” I laughed nervously.

“Ugh, you’ve already brought it into the office – why am I not surprised.”

“Are we done? I need to offer Sennen his new job.”

“Wow, you’re eager.” It sounded like he was smiling, but it was so rare that I couldn’t be sure. “Make sure you let me know his answer and send me your new team layout as soon as possible.”

“Yes, sir.”

There was a slight slick of Kaiba setting his phone back to it’s cradle, signifying the end of the call. I put my own phone down, legs bouncing against the floor as I tried to contain my glee. Kaiba was okay with a relationship between Sennen and I. He was letting me keep him close. I laughed under my breath, desperately resisting the urge to jump up from my chair and dance. After a few moments of focused breathing, something caught my eye.

The email thread I had been replying to while talking to Kaiba had a new message, but that's not what had stopped me. Sennen’s name did. Somehow in my distraction, I’d accidentally added his email to the thread, sending my reply out not just to Iwazumi, but Sennen too. I grimaced at my stupidity, but didn’t think on it too long. It wasn’t anything important - nothing Sennen didn’t already know was happening. I knew he’d take a glance at the email, realize it wasn’t for him, and delete it. I shrugged and tried to go back to work, but all I could do was prepare my speech for when I talked to Sennen.

* * *

“Do you think he’d like something like this?” I asked, but it was more of a nervous rhetorical than a real question. “He left work really quick today, so I never got a chance to tell him anything. I don’t even know if he’ll say yes to the offer. Isn’t this a bit…unprofessional?”

Jou sighed, peering down through the glass at the watch I’d pointed out. It was a simple thing, a silver band with a black face. Nothing extravagant, perfect for an office setting – maybe a little fancy, if I had to be honest. I thought a watch would be an appropriate gift to give him if he became my partner, I was sure he’d be interested and say yes, but—“What if he says no?”

“Honestly, he’d probably like anything you gave him – job promotion or not.” Jou was unhelpful. “Not many people have standards when it comes to watches.”

“I mean, he definitely wouldn’t want something flashy, so…”

“Just from a romantic point of view, I think he’d be thrilled.”

“…but that’s not really what I’m…” my mumble trailed off. I leaned in until my nose was practically touching the glass. “It’s just for business. I’m not trying to…I mean, I suspect maybe he—but I don’t know for a fact yet and I don’t want to get my hopes up just in case he’s not—”

“Yugi, please.” Jou rolled his eyes. “After everything that’s happened between you two, after seeing the way he stares at you sometimes…I’m certain he has feelings for you. Anzu could tell, and she’s all the way in America. I can’t tell you if it’s love exactly, but it’s something. And it’s strong. I’ve only heard your side of the things that have happened, but I’m sure there’s more going on than just him being a good assistant.”

“So you don’t think it’s too flashy, or—”

“You can always give it to me instead. I need a watch.”

“Fine, okay. I’ll get it. No, not for you—” I added quickly, seeing Jou’s expression. “I’m sure Sennen will enjoy it.” I reached into my back pocket for my wallet with shaking fingers. “…I hope he likes it.”

Maybe Sennen wasn’t the type to wear a nice watch, I hadn’t really seen him wear one before. He could always have it for special occasions or whenever he wanted to feel nice - I didn’t care either way, even if it lay forgotten on his desk or in a drawer…it was a gift from me, and if it made Sennen feel special even for a moment, I’d consider it a success. Because that’s all I wanted – an infinite amount of special moments with him.

* * *

Sennen was in a bad mood.

I’ve seen him in bad moods before: his displeasure at finding pickles hidden under the patty of his burger, his annoyance at traffic, his irritation at having to repeat himself more than once. I’ve seen him angry, too – once when we were walking by the park, a man kicked a stray dog and Sennen had immediately left my side to confront him. But this was a different kind of bad mood. I couldn’t pinpoint if it was anger or just discontentment. He was just quiet and…stern. The intensity in his gaze wasn’t like it normally was, thought it shined just as bright. His hair seemed messier, his face looked tired. I wondered if he'd even slept last night.

“Is there something wrong, Sennen?” I ended up asking because I was worried. It was plain to see that something had happened and I wanted to know what it was, or what I could do to help.

He must’ve known he seemed off, he was already lifting his hand up to fix his hair as he said, “I’m fine.” But the corner of his mouth pulled down, and I knew he was lying. I had a knack for finding tells, it’s one reason why I was so good at poker, and I had noticed his only a week after I’d started working with him. But what could I do about it? Force him to talk to me? Sennen wasn’t the kind you could just talk out of a bad mood, he just had to feel it and get over it. That didn’t stop me from reaching out my hand to him in concern.

In one smooth step, he positioned himself out of my reach, which was a surprise. Sennen had never avoided touching me before. Not o obviously like he just had. I let my hand drop, dying to know what was wrong. I stared at him, silently begging _please tell me what I can do._

“Did you need something from me?” He asked abruptly, his gaze moving away from mine.

"Yes, the reason I called you in here—" I began, flustered. I had called him in here to offer him his promotion, to talk to him about our future together in general...but maybe now wasn’t the best time to discuss things like our feelings. Not when he was like this. “You remember how we spoke a few times before about Kaiba wanting to expand our offices, right?” I waited for his nod. "Well, it's no longer talk. The building contracts have been signed. These are the plans.” I tapped the roll against the edge of my desk, trying to keep my cool. "I have a meeting in about an hour with the architect to finalize some last details, but there was also something else…I wanted to talk to you about." Oh, no. I was already feeling shy and I hadn’t even got to the embarrassing parts yet.

Sennen nodded again, but his gaze was distant like his mind was elsewhere.

“I'll be acquiring a partner, and depending on—" His eyes flickered back to mine and I fumbled. “Uh, I was wondering if…” I could feel the blush heating my face. This was supposed to be an amazing offer for him and I was making it seem so awkward by blubbering stupidly. “Actually, there’s something more pressing I think we need to talk about, so…” The word vomit was coming. I pressed my lips together tightly, trying to keep it in. Trying to get my thoughts back on track. I had imagined this whole thing so differently. Me, confident. Sennen not in a bad mood. Him smiling brightly and accepting the job and him admitting that he loved me and maybe, _maybe_ letting me kiss him, but— “Not just about this, but other things, too – um—” When had I started talking again? I needed to start over because this was just A Mess. “I mean, I guess I should cover the work stuff first, right?” I laughed, taking a deep breath.

"It's not a big deal, but with this expansion I'll be hiring a couple new assistants.” There, much better. “I wanted you to be an office manager or something, but Kaiba says it wouldn't work like that because that not how the new firm would be set up. But then Kaiba had the greatest idea that would work perfectly.”

“Naturally.” Sennen replied. He sounded bored, but there was a sudden determined gleam in his eye. Before I could question it, he was moving toward me at an alarming pace. He shoved one hand against my chest, pushing me down over the top of my desk, crushing the various papers I’d left there.

I was confused at his sudden closeness after how distant he’d just been before, but then I understood as I saw him unzipping my pants. _Right now? Right here?_ I thought hurriedly. _Why?_ But he didn’t give me much time for wondering; his hand was already on my bare cock, mouth already bending down to engulf the head. He went down quickly and completely and I fell back against my desk at the sudden rush, breath trapped somewhere in my sternum.

He was being rough today, and it both excited and worried me. The feel of his tongue dragging hard against the underside of my dick didn’t allow me to think of much else, though. I was lost in pleasure already, hips lifting slightly to meet his mouth, chasing after that delightful heat. I gasped as he sucked hard, hands wandering up my legs to settle around my waist, gripping tight. I knew he was trying to make me come fast – he was touching every sensitive area I had with his tongue and all I could do was cry out and hold onto his shoulders. I ground myself against him because it was good, so good, _so good_ and then I was coming. Blind-sighted by my own orgasm because there had been no time to enjoy the build up before I was suddenly there.

Brain still buzzing from climax, I felt his mouth leave me, felt his weight shift away. I clutched his shoulders tighter, making him stay. “Wait—” It was hard to talk. I didn’t fully know what to say – my mind was hazy. I opened my eyes to find him, to see him hovering over me with a wide-eyed look as he stared back at me, the evidence of my orgasm still on his lips and _fuck,_ I wanted him. I wanted him so bad. “Don’t stop—” His fingers caressed my dick and I moaned, hips bucking.

He had started this whole thing. He had jump-started the whole relationship we had now. He was the one who’d shown me the best pleasure I’d ever had. It was his fault and I wasn’t going to let him go. If he wanted me to feel good, he'd better be prepared to stay by me for a long time. My heart wasn’t mine to give away because he already owned it – fully and completely. If he wanted to drive me into a mess, I would let him. Right here on top of my desk, for anyone to walk in and see.

“Atem, please—" I panted, not feeling one bit embarrassed for begging. I kept his eyes, pleading silently _stay with me, don’t leave, go out with me and we’ll make out and adopt dogs and do all that gross corny bullshit other couples do that make you want to gag._ He stared back at me in awe, a shade of disbelief hanging at the corners of his expression. I knew my feelings were showing on my face and I didn’t even care. I wanted him to know. If my mind hadn’t been so fuzzy with lust, I would’ve said I loved him right then, but talking was proving to be a real effort. "Please."

I hoped he would understand me anyway.

“Yugi…” He muttered. I felt my chest soar at the gentleness in his tone, how much affection was curled around the simple syllables of my name. His hands moved to my hips, holding me softly in a stark contrast to earlier. His mouth was on me again too, encouraging me back into full hardness with smooth swipes of his tongue. I threaded my fingers into his hair, loving the feel of it under my palms as he scooped his hands around my body, holding me closer to him. I grasped above my head, stretching out under him and wishing we were lying on a bed instead of the hard wood surface of my desk. Once I had the idle thought, it took over my entire mind. I pictured Atem and I in a sea of pillows and blankets, his mouth not just on my dick, but everywhere. Rubbing against each other, my hands in his hair and his hands gripping my hips tight. Then moving to my ass, as he was doing right now.

I could feel my second orgasm approaching, and I tightened my fingers in his hair, trying to hold back. He didn’t seem to want me to; he buried me into his mouth, swallowing around my dick and then I was coming again. I cried out his name a bit too loudly, reveling in the fact that I was allowed to do so, that I would continue to use his given name from now on. He held me carefully as I rode it out, only pulling away once he knew I was done. He stayed close to me this time, and I could feel his gaze burning a hole in my face. I lifted myself up to my elbows and blurted, “Do you want to become my partner?”

His face was slack in shock. “What?”

“My business partner.” I clarified, my already flushed face growing warmer still. "If you don't want to, I understand. I mean, I didn't think you wanted to be an assistant forever - but if you like that, of course I could keep you instead of a new hire, or I could get you into a different department if maybe you didn't want to stay in law - I know you didn't ever dream of having this as your career, but I thought - I wanted to give you the choice first. I think think we work really well together and I—" _I love you,_ I wanted to say, but I wouldn't do that while offering him a promotion. I wanted his decision about his career to be separate from how he might or might not feel about me. "—I don't want you to grow bored in a routine. If you were my partner, we could split the work evenly, which is pretty much what we do now. But we'd be equals. You'd actually be getting paid for all the hard work you put in, but I don't know if - I just don't want you to hold back...This sounds so self-absorbed, but I don't want you to hold back your career...just for me."

“You want me to stay?” Was all that he'd grasped from that whole speech. I grew confused because when had I ever made him think I didn’t? What made him question whether I wanted him next to me?

“Of course.” I said blankly, unable to understand why he thought I’d ever want him to go. He barked out an abrupt laugh, leaning down to rest his head against my chest. I looked down in bewilderment, noting how his ears were two shades darker. What was he embarrassed about? The question marks above my head grew in number.

“Okay,” he finally said, lifting his face to mine. His smile was so bright, I felt like I needed to shield my eyes. “Yes, I would like to…yes.”

“Oh! Good!” I sat up more with a smile of my own, the nervous fist around my heart relaxing it’s hold. “I’m glad to hear it.” I tucked my wayward bangs behind my ear and together we both simultaneously glanced down. Face flaming, Atem scuttled back from me like I'd threatened to kick him in the crotch. I zipped up my pants, trying to remain completely blasé about it. “Wow, um – so by the way—”

“Yes?” He asked, hand covering his mouth. I assumed he was trying to hide a smile, with the way his eyes crinkled and how his cheeks were bunching up.

“A client in America was referred to me by Anzu,” I began slipping off of my desk. A couple of wrinkled papers fell and I stared at them for a minute before turning back around and deciding that they were a problem for Future Yugi. I heard a soft snort and saw Atem pressing his hand over his mouth harder. He seemed to be in a better mood now. Guess my dick was a cure-all, which was good to know. "She lives over there now, but her business is still in Japan. She's looking for an advocate to consolidate all her issues so she doesn't have to monitor it all herself." I walked around my desk and fell into my chair. "She's paying for everything, so I figured...it wouldn't hurt to bring along my own personal translator."

“You can speak English,” Atem stated, clearly not getting my meaning. He bent down to pick up the roll of blueprints I had dropped earlier when he’d pushed me down.

“Well yes, but I've told you that English is not my strongest subject. I've never lived in America, so I'm not as fluent as _someone_ else in the room." I emphasized as much as I could, and he finally got it. His jaw fell and he lifted his head quickly.

"Are you talking about _me?"_ He asked in such disbelief, I was almost insulted. _Who else?_

"Yes." I said trying not to roll my eyes.

“Go to America…with you?” He questioned again.

"Only if you want to. If you're going to be my partner, you should be there with me, right?"

"Right." He replied, looking deep in thought. I remembered how I’d pictured us together in a bed earlier; how I wanted his naked body against mine. How I wanted to steal the breath from his lips and make him tell me how he really felt – because he surely knew by now how I felt about him.

I thought a hotel bed would help me achieve my goal just fine.


End file.
